Why do I keep meeting RV couples who are deeply happy in their relationship? Is it true that adversity bonds RVing couples? What is happening here?
In a recent video interview with Dan and Lindsay McKenzie, they shared how RVing has affected their relationship. Like so many other couples I’ve talked with, they tell me that RVing has improved their relationship.
I love this, of course, because it proves my point that RVing can be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship.
Anyone who has made it through the first trying months of life on the road knows that there are lots of stressors. The learning curve is steep and seems counterintuitive to the dream that propelled you into the lifestyle in the first place. The McKenzies have discovered that many benefits have come to them as they’ve learned to RV and live and love on the road. Not the least of which is realizing that in order to enjoy the lifestyle you must enjoy each other.
But something surprising is also at work. Out of desperation, couples put their heads together and begin to work as a team to scale the mountains before them – trusting each other and leaning on each other to find solutions.
Another way to describe this struggle is, it’s like being in a crucible. What do I mean by a “crucible?” It simply means:
A difficulty or challenge that has forced you to change. Tempered you by fire, melted you down, and transformed you.
Marriage itself meets this definition, and RVing most certainly does! In both cases, especially at first. We’re being re-formed by the fire of the unexpected!
Lindsay and Dan make an excellent point in their story. They feel safe enough with each other to let their guard down and be less than perfect. When we are super stressed, we NEED to let off some of the built up energy in our system – it’s good for our health. And, a solid relationship can allow for our being less than perfect in another’s presence when we don’t take emotions personally, as Lindsay says. This is a great gift we can give each other when the walls in our tiny homes begin to close in.
But more importantly, in all moods we allow ourselves to be seen. We begin to share our deepest feelings. This is where love and bonding take us to a whole new level of relationship to each other.
Every problem is a gift. Without problems we would not grow.
Are you a happy RV couple? Does “working” on your relationship sound like a drag? Why do we always talk about “working” on a relationship? There’s got to be a better way of saying it. Yes, there are problems to be solved but all we’re trying to do is “find each other again.”
When I lose my connection to my partner, it feels bad. I naturally want that feeling of connection again, and so I’m willing to push my ego aside and be vulnerable – making more room for “us.” The crucible has done its work.