Lately, I’ve been getting comments on my facebook group that are so spot on that I’m dedicating this entire post to their great ideas about their RV Relationships and one very funny story. So I guess you could title this post “All’s Well That Ends Well!”
The question I posed was this, “Blaming each other is a buzz kill. When it comes to RV life together, what do you do to stop this behavior if it crops up in your daily life?”
Sandra Milena Crespo of 1st Class RV Adventures came up with this great idea. We do pretty good as communicating goes, but when difficulties happen we say, “do you need a cape?” We got this from a meme a while ago that refers to needing a cape so you can be “super mad” and it always reminds us to stop and we end up laughing.
Stephen and I liked this next one so well because it makes us laugh when it’s thrown out there entirely out of context. We’ve even adopted their “safe word as our own!”
Natasha Snodgrass wrote: “We have a safe word. Toilet paper! Once someone says it, we both have to stop, and then we usually realize the argument has gotten out of control. We use toilet paper because when we first got married, we got into a huge knock-down-drag-out fight over me forgetting to buy toilet paper and him not looking before he sat down on the toilet it’s funny now, but we almost didn’t make it!!!”
Another reader shared how he and his partner end up expressing out their feelings in a way that puts into perspective that “it’s just feelings” and, once they are expressed, the couple can return to the space of working through the issue together. What they do is exaggerate their body gestures until they get amused. Another way is to pantomime all your feelings like anger, frustration and anything else you might feel but you do it without words! So, you can stomp around, make sounds, and carry on – anything you want to share about how you feel except it can’t involve any words! Pretty soon someone starts seeing humor in the situation, and that’s when the softening to each other begins and a calm discussion ensues.
All these ideas are sure to lighten the mood and change the pattern you might be stuck in. We are for sure going to give them all a try.
I include the story below just because it makes me laugh. While Visiting Jojoba SKP Park, I met a delightful woman who told me she had written some stories that I might like. Helen is Korean. The reason I tell you this is her English has a very personal way of being expressed which I think adds to her storytelling. Enjoy!
“This was our real RV long duration trip. Game was on, we had to come up with some ground rules. We agreed, no long plans, see where we go and see what happens. John had to get an ok from foot surgeon everything was ok before we could leave on our trip. Reservations or plans could not be made but we decided we wanted to see Full Eclipse. Going to Oregon was out of the question, it would be too congested, seeing it in South Carolina would be out of the question, it would be too crazy. We sat down with the map, John’s doctors appoint was on 8/14, we will find out if we can leave town, full eclipse was on 8/21. Left us approximately a week to drive the RV and find a place that is in the path of Eclipse. We came home on 10/16, I had some medical issues, we had to come home to see doctors.
I learned few things and experienced new things, met great peoples along the journey. You cannot drive motorhome like a car, reaching a destination is not THE “goal”. The journey is much slower, you have to give yourself lots of space and time, literally and figuratively, if you don’t it doesn’t work. Crazy drivers, unexplainable leak coming from bathroom water hose, unwelcome guests (mice), something is always happening. Second day on the road, John noticed, shower door was starting to have problems. He said, “it’s loose, we should find someone to fix it before it gets bad.” Time constrain was we had to drive close to Idaho Falls to see full eclipse, we are only in Nevada, still have to go through Utah, and Idaho. I said, “can we deal with it later? After 21st, eclipse?” I heard “NO”, I have to tell you my John has OCD, shower door starting to have problem is not something he is willing to “let go” we had to find repair shop ASAP. WELL! We were in middle of nowhere, few repair shops I called, either was backed up and booked, or did not fix shower doors. They said go to Salt Lake City, a next big city in our journey.
WELL! Shower door died (fell off the track) on the way to Salt Lake. HE was driving, I went to use the bathroom, best part of having a RV travel, I love having a clean bathroom ALL WAYS!, I don’t empty it, that’s what husbands are for, I sat down to use my toilet, I see the shower door is swaying forward and back, bouncing up and down, as the RV moved down the highway. I scream to John, “YOU HAVE TO PULL OVER, NOW!!!” I pull myself together and jump into the shower, just as the shower door fell into my arms, in slow motion, like if she was my dancing partner. John pulls over, parks it, yelling to me “what’s the matter,” trying to get to me, he thinks I’m sick or something. Order for him to come to the bathroom, he has to go through the maze, we have a system, waste basket, Kleenex, basket full of goodie, you have to walk through the living room area, kitchen, dining room, our two dinning chairs are free standing, when you are driving, you have to lay it down. There is a bean bag placed in angle just so, to hold a space between bathroom door and wardrobe. He walks, jumps, and gets to me as fast as he could. Yelling the whole time, “I’m coming!!” when he opens the door, he sees me inside the shower, standing, embracing my shower door. He says, “are you alight? What happen?”, if I could, I would have thrown something at him. What happen, what do you mean what happen, do you think I want to dance with shower door for fun, or that I wanted to rip the shower door off from the track for no good reason????? What do you think happen?? After much to do, he carried the door out of the bathroom. We gently placed it in so call living room, only place large enough. He said we need to get off the shoulder. We got back on the highway, and John said, “we need to just put it under the bed for now and we will deal with it after we get home” and I feel in love with him all over. When things are out of kilter, he is my rock. We pulled into Walmart, in RV living you get to love WalMart, big parking lots, and they have everything you need. Not WANT but NEED!! I held the bed up, John placed our dead shower door gently under our bed, wrapping it up with extra blankets. We went in and bought a shower curtain and a rod. shower curtain came with hooks, only cost $7.99, Walmart is cheap, I am learning, Walmart HAS EVERYTHING!!!!
Our shower door is still resting in peace, under our bed, in the RV. There is no plans to bring her back to life, we LOVE our cheap Walmart special (inexpensive, cost friendly), plastic, black and white poke a dot shower curtain. With the fancy door, we had to remember each time we got back on the road, double and triple check, if the latch is on tight if not it bangs, I had to turn side ways to wash left and right side of my body. Without the fancy door, I can just take a shower, and turn around and around to my heart’s content. Best part, I don’t have to squeeze after the shower AND it’s one less thing to clean!!
May she rest in peace, until next owner! Or maybe I go to “rest in peace” whichever comes first….”
Written by Helen Kim Bass.