Did you think I disappeared? It’s been a crazy month full of family and travel but I’m still all about relationships. After two high school graduations for grandchildren, it was time to take my granddaughter on her trip to NYC for her graduation present. I was eager for her to experience just how amazing the world is outside of the small town in New Mexico that she’s called home all her life. There were some eye-opening moments for her for sure since we stayed in Chinatown and saw how inner city people are living their day to day lives. A homeless man in a compromising position with his unmentionables hanging out was a case in point! Being a teenager, she was not sure this was what she had in mind for her NYC adventure, but I’m pretty sure that will be a story she will tell and retell.
This post is going to have very little to do with RVing but a lot to do with relationships in general. Besides time spent with my husband, there’s nothing I like better than being with my daughter and her daughters. The fact that Hannah is turning 18 this summer and it was just the three of us for the first time without her younger sister made it a new and exciting adventure. My daughter and I made the transition to a peer relationship a long time ago, and I felt I was witnessing the beginning of her new relationship with her daughter.
I have a bias. I think it’s tricky to transition our relationships with our adult children in such a way that they are not “our little girl” or “our little boy” anymore. Also, there comes a time when we must honor their life choices – no matter what they are. Sometimes these life choices look unwise to us and practicing giving advice only when it’s asked for is one of the hallmarks of this transition to a peer relationship.
Allowing your child to see themselves through your eyes as a person willing to be responsible for their actions and to learn from them is a significant step for both parties.
It’s hard. Here you’ve been responsible for your children’s protection and guidance, and now it’s time to let that go: especially if you want them to learn how to do this for themselves. There’s a space of time in there when it feels incredibly uncomfortable and just not right. It’s like stepping off a cliff when you don’t know how high it is off the ground.
I somehow think there’s another element to this and that’s our willingness to reinvent ourselves as people beyond the child raising years. Who are we without the role that’s consumed so much of our life energy? I think many people avoid this life phase altogether and remain parents until they are grandparents and then that’s their new role.
Now that I think about it, this post does have something to do with the RV lifestyle because many RVers have come to the point in their lives after their children have launched, that they do want to reinvent themselves. One of the choices is to become nomads seeking new adventures and learning more about themselves as individuals and as a couple. It’s a perfect way to launch a new phase of life for empty nesters!
You may have noticed I haven’t posted in quite a while. Sorry that I disappeared. The pace of life caused me to have to make some choices. Because I’m 70 years old I’m always evaluating how I’m using the time I have left and how much satisfaction I’m getting from the choices I’ve made. During this graduation phase I wanted to be entirely present to family obligations, and so my blog had to suffer.
When I started this blog, I committed to posting something about RV relationships every other week, and I’m a person who takes my commitments seriously, so it’s been awkward not to post. But, if I’m honest, in many ways I’ve reflected on just about every aspect of our personal lives as RVers, and I needed some downtime to reflect on where I want to go next with this blog.
Honestly, one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place was to create conversations and dialogue with subscribers. That has happened to a very small degree, and I thank those of you who’ve taken the time to share yourselves.
I also started a facebook group called RVing – The Relationship Adventure and am receiving great personal satisfaction from the engagement that can come in a facebook group.
Recently I was interviewed for a podcast that is launching for women who RV and I realized how much I loved sharing my belief that RVing is a perfect opportunity to create a loving dynamic partnership and love affair with your beloved.
I know that belief will be the core of where I take this blog, but right now I need soak time and will only create posts in the future based on being inspired to share some aspect of our relationships while we RV rather than on a time schedule. I hope you’ll bear with me during this time of transition. I do appreciate each of you for your interest in your relationships while RVing. If you want to check out my facebook group, click here.