Reset Your RV Life
RV relationships are the heart and soul of this blog. On the opening page of my blog I said, “Our relationship will be the laboratory that shows the work it takes to be in harmony.” Read more here.
Getting along in your RV life with your partner is different than normal life where there are a million distractions. In RV living it is usually just the two of you and sometimes you need to reset your relationship. Recently, when things got heated, Stephen and I captured some of the content of a flare-up in this video.
keywords: RV relationships, RV life
Disagreements happen. And, they happen over and over again. We’ve been working on this relationship for 40 years, and to stay in love and still enjoy each others company, we continually work on staying connected. Did I say work? I’ve heard it often said that you have to work on a relationship but, I think, isn’t it more like you have to stay present to that place where you intersect? It’s a muscle you develop and you must keep exercising it or it withers.
It all starts with the inquiry into yourself. What did I do or not do to make this happen or not happen? This takes courage. Humans have egos, and those egos are constantly at work to render us blameless. Look a little deeper with more curiosity, and you will see there are many rooms in our minds. Some of these rooms have no light so we don’t enter them. But, they may be where your behaviors originate that cause you to be further and further apart from your partner. It’s hard to look at yourself. Really really hard. You might be surprised though that inquiry into yourself may lead you to discover something you did or didn’t do that could’ve contributed to the discord.
Stephen said a sweet thing to me this morning. He said, “I know you’re always reaching for harmony in our relationship.” Well, I would say I do always end up there, but I can tell you the stubborn little girl in me sometimes takes her own sweet time to get there! Then, I remember that I have the power to reset our relationship.
One of the top destroyers of relationships is the
“you gain, I lose” mentality.
Looking around on the web at what other people are saying about this topic I found this:
“Every time you do something for your partner—run an errand, fix something, pick up a child, make a meal—even when these things entail a sacrifice on your part, you strengthen and expand the fabric of your relationship. If you think of this fabric as a quilt that covers both of you, it’s sensible to want it to be stronger and bigger. The belief that adding a square to your partner’s side of the quilt takes one away from yours is false. More squares just make the quilt bigger for both of you to share. And fixing holes in the quilt, such as misunderstandings and unmet needs, enables the quilt to keep you both warmer. Giving to your partner and meeting his or her needs is always a win unless it means sacrificing your principles or your dignity. Moving from a competitive to a collaborative frame of mind, where you’re both working together to make each other happy and fulfilled, changes the entire dynamic of your relationship.”
It feels soooo good to be back on the other side of disconnection. Your small space RV relationship pretty much demands striving for RV harmony. And if you are like us, and your usual way of being together is holding hands, laughing together, and sharing life, it is so worth it to do what ever it takes to, as they say in Congress, “reach across the aisle.”
We are three weeks away from leaving for Canada and I am atwitter with excitement! Being here at Cochiti reminds me how much I love a campground. People are different here. They are more present and relaxed. Awake to life. That’s how I feel.